he calls me sometimes

and those are the best moments of my waking life

i rush for the phone

my sole destination

my only want and my only need

his voice gives life to me

and even though the words are menial

his requests for me that pile up at my feet

i am eager to please him

i want to impress him

i want to be necessary

is he my reason to live?

something about the way he says my name

it lights my mind on fire

and i tangle my fingers in the cord

i can't stop listening

there's something comforting in his voice

like he would kill anyone else in the world

just to make me smile

and the thought is twisted

but i am twisted

and it makes me feel light

and i fall back on the worn sheets

saturated light buzzing on the fringes of my vision

and when i fade from reality

i see him in my dreams

please

visit me again

not at night

not while my eyes are closed

i want to see your splendor

i want to witness you